Stepfather Stepdaughter Relationship Issues
The communication that exists between stepfather stepdaughter relationship issues can be better than between stepfather and stepson. This is because of the need for mutual acceptance between the stepfather and the stepdaughter. Unlike Stepson, who actually considers the stepfather to be his rival.
But it could also be that
stepfather stepdaughter relationship issues are prone to conflict. This is
because of differences in culture and family expectations, adaptation to create
a new family, and how to get to know each character between family members related
to new members.
It is necessary to call set
boundaries, which is to determine the limits of what you can and cannot do as a
stepparent.
Let's learn first what are the
limitations that need to be considered to be a good stepparent.
Set Boundaries Between Stepfather Stepdaughter Relationship Issues
1.
Avoid attempts to replace biological
parents
Your status as a
stepfather is one that you must accept without trying to replace their
biological parent. Because after all you will not be able to replace their biological
parents.
Even if their biological
parents have done bad things, it's not your right to tell your stepchildren to
hate their biological parents. Let it be a thing of the past that you can fix
by being a better stepparent.
Also avoid
rushing to order or force stepchildren to call you mom or dad. Leave them with
their understanding and awareness. Remember that even your stepchildren can
develop their love and respect for you without calling you “mom or dad”.
2.
No need to interfere with ex's parenting
Don't ever want
to interfere with how your ex about parenting. Because your ex will definitely
feel uncomfortable if you intervene without being asked.
Maintain a good
relationship with your ex so that your child is more comfortable around you
even though they are not with their former partner.
3.
Don't get involved in fights between
stepdaughter and spouse
Now this is what
often happens where the stepfather is too defend to his partner when fighting
with the stepdaughter. Obviously this situation will worsen your relationship
with the stepdaughter.
Be neutral even
if you want to defend one. Now your position is not only a partner but also the
stepfather of the child who is your responsibility.
Give it your
attention. Not being neutral but like they don't care. This attitude is not
easy but also not so difficult if you have started to bond with children.
4.
Don't vilify their biological parents
Although the
actions of biological parents are bad, it is not your part to influence
children to hate their biological parents.
Even if it comes
out of your child's mouth at first, you just need to be a listener.
Your
stepdaughter definitely needs more empathy from you, not provocation. So you
don't have to go along with humiliating their biological parents.
In addition, the
habit of badmouthing other people is a negative attitude that can affect
children. Children will have a character or personality that is also negative
in looking at things.
Anything About Stepfather Stepdaughter Relationship Issues
Once you have established
boundaries in your relationship with your stepdaughter, identify the following
issues:
1.
The age gap that is not too far can be a
misunderstanding. This means that if you as a stepfather have an age gap
with your stepdaughter who is not too far away, for example only 10 years, then
attention and care are often misinterpreted as a form of partner love.
In fact, you are
the mother's partner, not the child. So understand this so that there are no
misunderstandings in the relationship.
The trick is to
be reasonable in giving attention to children. No need to overdo it let alone
put your heart like a couple.
2.
Jealous Couple
Your partner,
aka your stepdaughter's biological mother, may feel jealous if you are too
close to your stepdaughter. Although not all like this, but what's wrong you
avoid it.
The trick is to
be open with your partner about how your relationship with the stepdaughter is.
So your couple feels always involved and does not feel jealous.
3.
Conflict with biological father
This conflict
can occur because the biological father may not be willing to let his daughter
have a stepfather. So he is too overprotective of his biological child who is
your stepdaughter. If this is the case, good and smooth communication is the
key.
Relationships
that trigger this conflict will make children confused. He didn't know who to
get closer to. Even though he needs a father figure but a biological father cannot
be replaced.
In addition,
differences in parenting patterns can also cause conflict. For example,
stepdaughters are more comfortable with their biological father's upbringing so
they can't be too close to their stepfather. What you can do in this case is to
approach him slowly and understand what your stepdaughter likes or dislikes.
There could be
things that your stepchildren don't openly talk about with you. This is because
stepdaughter are introverted child and find it difficult to accept the presence
of strangers in her lives.
4.
Disagreement with stepdaughter
This difference
of opinion does not only occur between the stepfather and stepson but also
between the stepfather and the stepdaughter. The name of a child growing up
must have his own thoughts.
Differences of
opinion can be a natural thing to get a positive solution. However, it is also
not uncommon for differences of opinion to trigger unresolved conflicts.
The solution
depends on you and your stepson, where good communication can work or not.
Those are some of the stepfather
stepdaughter relationship issues that may occur. These issues are not something
that can be simply avoided. However, if you can set the limits above, the
issues will only strengthen your relationship with your stepdaughter. On the
other hand, if you can't set boundaries then be prepared to have a bad
relationship with your stepdaughter.
The presence of a new person in
the family does not always run smoothly. Rejection at the beginning became a
common thing that happened because of changes in the atmosphere. Maybe the
children are already comfortable so it is difficult to accept new people.
But you as a stepfather or
stepparent also don't have to worry about continuing the relationship. There is
always an opportunity to be a good stepparent.
Communication, openness, attention
and appreciation in the family can have a positive impact on existing problems.
This applies not only to the relationship between stepparents and stepchildren,
but also to biological parents.
I'm not saying there are no
problems, because every relationship will have its own challenges. Therefore,
it is necessary to prepare and be a good person for yourself and those around
you. That way you will always be able to conquer the stepfather stepdaughter
relationship issues.
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